The dilemma

I'm back from a long hiatus. The laziness took over my passion of writing and is probably the reason why I'll never become a successful writer. I've got some inspiration for a new post. As such, I thought I'd share it with whoever still reads this dead space. Feel free to drop a comment in the revived "chat box"

Back to the post.

Have you ever had this dilemma or this choice you had to make but couldn't do it because you weren't sure what would be right? Everyone has to make choices, more often than not, the choices they make never turn out right. How then do we know which is right?

I realise today that there is no answer to that question. You can spend days, weeks, months deciding which choice you intend to make. When you do decide on one you think is right, it often ends up wrong. Everyone goes through this everyday. I say why waste time deciding which choice is better, when you'll never truly know what the right choice is until you've decided and have to face the mere truth that you were wrong.

My dilemma? Simple actually. It's a dilemma I have been in before. You see, I once had feelings for a really unique girl. She's your typical cheerful, happy-go-lucky girl who brings joy wherever she goes. This girl was Charmaine Foo. She was my classmate in my poly. One fine day, after countless days with her as a friend, I realised "She's the one" or at least I thought back then that she was. I had this dilemma then, do I risk everything I have with her, friendship, classmates and let her know how I felt or do I keep everything in and one day look back on what could have been?

I was crazy about her, couldn't stop thinking about her. I spent days and nights thinking about what I should have done. Yes you guessed right, I went for it. Risked everything, and the result? I lost a friend and we hardly spoke since. You see, it's such a simple decision, yet it could change your life and change everything that happens in your life. The worst part is, Charmaine wasn't the first person I had this dilemma with.

That brings me back to the present. Right at this very moment, I have the exact same dilemma, just with another girl. One side of you keeps telling you to go for it, the other says play it safe and don't risk it. Of the vast majority of things that go through a person's head, this would probably rank in the top 10. What do I do?

Based on past experiences, nothing good ever comes from confessing to a girl that you have feelings for her, I've learnt that the hard way. Result? I've decided to play it safe and don't risk it. Yet everyday I sit down and wonder if I made a mistake. You see that's the thing about choices, if I did choose to tell this special girl and all doesn't go according to plan, I'll regret it. Yet if I choose not to, I live everyday wondering what could have been.

Dilemma? That's life for you.

`you mean the world to me, yet the fear of rejection and losing you as a friend has kept me from saying "I Love You"