It's been so long. I have given up trying to write here, keeping this blog up has been too much of a chore. I'll just write here when I think it's necessary or when I feel the need to express something.
It's Christmas Day today. Quite frankly, it's the season to be jolly. For me, of course I would like to enjoy the whole holiday spirit. I don't really fancy this period. To be honest, it's basically because I'm not doing what I truly want to do. I can be spending time with family, it's lovely and amazing. Yet all I actually want to do is spend time with the girl I love. It's the same for the New Years. It goes on every year.
Speaking of which, the girl I love is such a complicated story. She's my absolute best friend. To be honest, I'm crazy about her. The problem? She's my BEST FRIEND and she feels the same about me. Key word: Friend. We can't be anything more. Although a part of me is saying "if you stay by her side long enough, maybe one day she'll realise you're the one for her." I want to believe that. It's just not that simple.
I'm in love with her and she's the first girl I have said I love you to.
I feel like such a desperate guy. Desperately trying to find a girl to be my girlfriend. It makes me seem like when any decently pretty girl that walks into my life and becomes a wee-bit close to me, I start falling for her. That's not the case I hope. It seems to be the cycle. The only one I haven't fallen for who is close to me is Chrystle. Then again, she's happily attached and I'm extremely happy for them.
I spend a day with the girl I love, and I spend the next week thinking about her constantly. When we meet up it's like heaven. I have never felt so comfortable with a girl in my life. I'm beginning to think shes "the one". on a side note, I'm writing a book called "the one". Back to the story. When we meet, I have the time of my life. I enjoy every minute with her, even if it's silent. I love the silence. I love every minute with her. Again, she treats me as a friend.
Maybe someday you'll see this Drus, I love you. The thing is, you mean way too much to me for me to say it. I've said it to you once. I told you I don't feel that way anymore. Truth be told, I do. You're the first girl I've truly loved. The thing is, I love you way too much to see our friendship go away. I want to be there for you and I will always be, till the day you find true happiness. I just want you to be happy. I'll be happy for you.
I fell in love with my bestfriend
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