climb out, and get kicked right back down into the hole

It happened again. Each time I get remotely close to Drusilla, I get hurt.

Maybe I should just let her know how i feel and have the awkward time with her. Every time I think we are doing better as friends, I get hurt somehow. We can't even meet for a meal without having to go through a lot of trouble. When a boy she likes asks her out, she can clear all her plans for him, make time for him. I guess I'm not enough of a friend to her for her to do that for me.

Why I never told her how I feel?

Because she doesn't have to know. I love her and as cheesy as it sounds, I just want what is best for her. I want her to be happy, even if I'm not now nor will I ever be the reason for that happiness. I know she doesn't feel that way about me. As such I've always just tried to be there for her whenever she needed me. Trying my best to help her find that happiness. So to me, I love her so much that her happiness is way more important than her loving me back.

If she ever asks me about it again, I won't lie. I'll tell her the truth.

Even at this point where I'm hurt, I'm still fine somehow because I know she isn't hurt, and she's happy. That is enough for me I guess.