It's you, it's always been you.

Drus,

I'm still crazily in love with you, I still am.

The thing is, you have found happiness with JQ. While I'm extremely happy for you that you found the one you love, I can't help but feel sad. I'm heartbroken but I was the one that chose this. I wanted you to be happy and I knew you didn't feel that way about me. I just kept everything to myself. I tried my best to hide my emotions but there were times I just let slip. My tweets are the most obvious. However, you're happy now, and as much as my heart is breaking, I wanted this for you. I wanted you to find your happiness and be happy. I stood by your side, helped you whenever you needed help, and tried my best to help you find your happiness. Though every day I get hurt in the process, I feel it's all worth it for you now that you have JQ and you're happy.

However, it just occurred to me that, our lives are connected by what you tell me. More often than not, it's about boys or your relationships. Even then, you don't exactly share everything with me. Now that you have JQ, it eliminates everything we've ever had a conversation for. Basically, it eliminates me out of the equation. I realise that other than boys, I don't know you all that well. I don't know what you do. where you work, what you do at your work. I don't know about your personal life, like your photo shoots, I never even knew you did photo shoots before you told me. I don't know about your family, like you know both my siblings names, I don't even know what your one sister's name is. You haven't shared that side of your life with me and every time I ask, you don't want to share it. I understand that about you, and its who you are, I wouldn't want to change you in any way. So I've never asked further. The thing is, now I'm afraid it's just a matter of time before I'm no longer part of your life. The boy's part of your life, the one we always talk about, is now settled because you have JQ, but that just leaves me not needed anymore. I loved the time we had, just sad that I know it has to end some how. Melbourne will probably be my last HURRAH with you. After that I've got to figure out a way to move on.

I'll always love you Drus, you'll always have a special place in my heart. I hope that you have an awesome and happy relationship with JQ. I hope he treats you right. I now know what it means to truly love someone, it doesn't mean they have to love you back. It's when you see them happy, and though your heart breaks to see them with someone else, you know that they're happy. Deep down, you couldn't ask for more for the girl you love. I love you and I always will. Hope you and JQ stay happy together. =)

John