Moving on....

I recently found out that this space is not as abandoned as I thought it was. I'm actually in some way glad I still have some readers here. For the few people that still visit this blog, I'd like to say first that I'm sorry posts recently have been about Drusilla and my love for her. I just didn't think anyone was still reading this, and I was just using this space to express how I really feel. With that said, thank you for reading this.

Anyway, since I've been talking about Drusilla for so long, why stop now right?

I recently went to Melbourne with her about a month back. I was there for a week with her. It was my first experience travelling alone, without any family. In addition, I was going to stay alone as well. Basically, Drus' mum booked her a ticket to Melbourne for what was suppose to be 3 weeks. She was going to stay with one of her friends. She also has a lot of friends in Melbourne that she could spend time with. However, she realised that her during her first week there, most of her friends were having exams. She asked me if I would like to go to Melbourne and spend a week there with her, and I thought, why not? Anyway, moving on. The week in melbourne with her was absolutely amazing. I loved every second of it. It was really a different experience travelling with a friend and I thoroughly enjoyed myself. I shall not go into the details but it was great!

And no, it wasn't because I loved her that I enjoyed myself. You see, she did tell me before I went that I should be going for ME and not for HER. I thought about it a lot. I realised what she said was true, I should be the one wanting to go, if I was going for HER and because I loved her, it wouldn't end well. Also, before I left, I had a really good talk with her about where we are in the relationship. I've always had problems moving on. I've known all along that she doesn't feel the same way about me, yet I could never bring myself to move on. I honestly have no idea why. After having a long and good talk with her before I left, I decided that for this trip, I'm going there for ME and I'm not going to look at her as anything more than a absolute good friend or best friend. To be honest, I still enjoyed myself even though it wasn't because I loved her. I enjoyed just being friends and having her as a friend and good company.

With that, after almost 4 years, I can say that I'm ready to move on. She's always going to be the first girl I have ever loved. She's always going to have special place in my heart. However, I have to move on some time. I'll always care for her a lot and she'll always mean the world to me. But shes my friend, an absolutely awesome and close friend. I wouldn't trade that for the world.

I don't know if you'll ever read this but thank you Drus, Thank you for always being so understanding. You never avoided me when you knew how I felt and you didn't feel the same way. You still treated me as a friend despite everything. From the bottom of my heart I thank you.

Also, Miss Chrystle Chan. You crazily amazing person. Thank you for having to bear with my nonsense for the longest time. Almost 4 years, it definitely hasn't been easy on you. You mean the world to me as well and I really appreciate everything you've done for me and being there for me. Thank you friend. You're AWESOME.

Till next time, Cyah folks!

`there is a difference between letting go and moving on, I'm moving on.